20/5/11
Memories wash over me like dirty water,
I scrub and I scrub something fierce,
and then I drink and drink some more
until I’m face down on the floor,
But at least those memories are gone for one more day,

How can I learn to love when I still hate
the entire world? How can I learn to love
anything other than hating everything?

It’s amateur and it’s full of feeling,
Sometimes professionalism is fake,
So I carve and I carve ‘til I fall asleep
and I just let it all out, let it all bleed,
at least it’s not filling up my insides for one more day,

But how will I ever learn to love when I still hate
every single one? How can I learn to love
anything other than just hating everything?

It’s at boiling point, all my blood rushes to the tips of my very skin,
And all the air has left my body as I try to yawn from pure exhaustion,
As I try to scream from a pain I’ve never felt more real,
But I hold everything in but the air is gone,
I hold everything in and it’s at boiling point,
All my everything rushes to the tips of my very skin,
All my everything crushes my very silent tongue,

And how will I ever learn to love when I still hate
every single thing? How can I learn to love
anything other than just hating everything?

And while iceblocks gather up inside my throat,
My tongue emerges itself just trying to drown,
And while iceblocks cut off my airways,
My tongue just cuts itself all over,
And while I struggle to breathe I find I cannot speak,
My tongue jumps off the very edge of this.